the bright side

[phone conversation 6:55am]
Me: It's times like this that I hate having a stick shift. (my left leg/foot is injured)
Tom: At least it's not a truck.
Me: What?
Tom: A trucks clutch is harder to push in. At least you have a car and not a truck.
Me: Well there you go. (trying to decide if I believe him) That is something to be grateful for. (is it?) That will be my happy thing for the day. (trying to see this as the bright side, at the same time disheartened that this may in-fact be the best news I hear all day)

Do you like my new shoe?

[phone conversation 7:30pm]
Me: The doctor said it was severe tendonitis. I am out of work for three weeks. (sucks)
Ashley: That sucks.
Me: I know.
Ash: But that's better than you thought it would be.
Me: What? (I was hoping I would wake up this morning and it would be all better, how is this better than that?)
Ash: You were worried that it was a stress fracture. A break would have out you out for six weeks. But it's not broken and you're only out for three weeks. That's good.
Me: Good call. (she's right) Thanks.

[6:52am text - for your entertainment]
Me: Calls if you're still at work.
(call me if you're still at work)
Me: Call me mean.
(call me, I mean)
Tom: Ok you are mean
Me: I know. I cannot text this morning.
(I realize I cannot text this morning)
Me: I am not drunk.
(but I am retarded sometimes)