warning

Warning label on our fire helmets. I actually read it for the first time today and have some excerpts for y'all: (direct quotes) (my comments)

Firefighting is an ULTRAHAZARDOUS, UNAVOIDABLY DANGEROUS activity.

Ya think?

This helmet will NOT protect you from all burns, injuries, diseases, conditions, or hazards.

What?!? It is NOT a MAGIC helmet? I am so disappointed. 

And what's up with the label using all the capitals?

If this helmet is exposed to heat, you may be BURNED with NO warning and NO sign of damage to the helmet.

Then why are we wearing them? Seriously.

This helmet is NOT warranted to be fit for a particular purpose.

I don't even know what that means.
So are you saying these FIREFIGHTER helmets are NOT to be worn for the particular purpose of FIREFIGHTING? They are not made for that nor for ANY OTHER particular purpose?

Failure to comply with these warnings may result in DEATH, INJURY, DISEASE, or ILLNESS.

Excuse me?

So it sounds to me like complying with everything will give me the same results. You already warned me of that in the second bullet point. 

Oh. 

Wait. 

My bad. 

You added DEATH onto the list for this one.
WTHeck.

My lid.